"Should I wait until I’m sure before I file a report?" In most situations you do not need to wait to have “evidence” of child abuse to file a report to child protective services or police. However, it is always best when there is some symptom, behavior or conversation that you can identify or...
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If you’re not really sure they have a problem: Letting someone know that their abusive behaviors are not invisible to others can be an effective measure in helping an adult stay safe from crossing the line with a child. Some adults do not understand fully what behavior is appropriate with children...
Danger of the Internet People can get in trouble before they even realize it. When it is so easy to access sexually explicit materials on the Internet, users can find themselves acting on curiosities they didn’t have before. Some people find themselves losing control over their use of pornography,...
There is no such thing as a “typical sex offender.” It can be hard to understand how seemingly ordinary people can have sexual thoughts or behaviors towards children. There is also no usual “pathway” to becoming someone who sexually abuses children. People who sexually abuse children can be any...
Thoughts come before action Many people who have sexually abused children report they had sexual thoughts or fantasies about children before they ever acted on them. On the other hand, many people who have sexual thoughts or fantasies about children never act on those thoughts or feelings. Sexual...
It can be hard to understand what causes someone to sexually abuse a child. Just as there is no such thing as a “typical sex offender”, there is no one pathway to becoming someone who sexually abuses children. Treatment providers have said the one thing people who sexually abuse children are most...
You may witness concerning behaviors in other adults, in children, or in yourself. The resources below can help you understand what you are seeing and teach you how you can address these concerns. Tip Sheet: Fifteen Questions About Your Thoughts and Behaviors that Only You Can Answer Tip Sheet:...
Talking to kids can be an important part of prevention. “How much should I explain to them?” Many parents struggle with the question “what do I tell my kids?” As your children grow and mature, each family must decide what works for the culture of their particular household. What is most important...
Sometimes the decision to file is not easy It’s scary to think that making a phone call could change our lives. We can’t know beforehand what will happen after we file. We don’t know if our report will lead to a child getting protection or possibly make things difficult for the child. Sometimes the...
For the person who has been victimized: No matter what is revealed by a child who has eperienced sexual abuse, reassure them that you believe them, that you love them, and that you are committed to helping them. Recognize that many children are not able to speak up about what happened, or may take...
All children are curious about sex. The more children know about their own sexuality, the less likely it is that others will take advantage of them because of their lack of knowledge. Having ongoing conversations with children and teens about their own developing sexuality is an important part of...
Don’t wait. If you are concerned about keeping your child safe from sexual abuse, now is the time to create a safer environment for everyone in your family. Prevention means promoting healthy behaviors rather than waiting to punish violations. The most effective sexual abuse prevention happens...
"I have mixed feelings about filing." More often, concerns lie in a “gray area” of vague uneasiness, sketchy details or uncertainty about what is actually happening. The decision to file a report regarding child abuse of any kind is almost always complicated by the reporter’s relationship to the...
Talking to kids can assist in prevention What do I tell my kids? Many parents struggle with this question. As your children grow and mature, each family must decide what works for the culture of their particular household. What is most important for kids to understand is that abuse is never a child...
Touching and Non-Touching Behaviors
There are many reasons why it’s difficult to speak about child sexual abuse, especially as it affects our own lives or the lives of those we care about. In most societies child sexual abuse is a taboo topic, making it difficult for most people to talk about it openly. Other obstacles include...
Family fallout - Ruptured relationships When someone takes the risk of speaking up on behalf of a child often other relationships are impacted. When planning to speak about the sexual abuse of a child we anticipate that our relationship with a spouse, family friend, in-law, grandparent, church,...
If you are thinking of speaking up about a possible situation of child sexual abuse, you may face practical concerns of how this will impact your family. Here are answers to some common questions people face when deciding how to take action on concerning behaviors. How will my relationships survive...
Trust your gut If you have a gut feeling that something isn’t right you might be tempted just to ignore it. Talking about sex is never easy. Talking about sexual abuse is even harder, especially when you care about the people involved. But your gut feeling is a reaction to something real that you...
Asking for help breaks the isolation The reasons why some adults think of behaving sexually with a child are complex. In fact, most adults who have sexual fantasies about children may find these thoughts worrisome – and they don’t want to harm a child. There is a lot of shame, stigma, and fear...
When a child discloses sexual abuse, here are some important things that the child will need you to do: Stay steady The child will look to you for cues that they will be okay. Unquestionably, sexual abuse can change a child’s view of the world. Yet, regardless of how devastated you are, they need...
Decide first if it is safe for you to have a conversation When your safety is at risk, it is simply not an option to speak directly with the person whom you know or suspect has abused a child, particularly in situations of domestic violence. In such instances it’s advisable to speak with a domestic...
Treatment for people who have sexually abused is different than other therapy for adults
Many members of the household may feel that trust has been betrayed Family members discovering that sexual abuse has occurred at home may have a sense that their home is not what they thought it was – a safe place for everyone. Or perhaps a general feeling of loss that their whole world is not what...