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FAQs on Sexual Safety in Sports

FAQ Category:
Community

  1. How can parents prevent a volunteer coach from harming their children?
  2. What do parents need to know prior to enrolling their child in a youth sports program?
  3. Are there any characteristics displayed by coaches that parents should be on the lookout for?

1. How can parents prevent a volunteer coach from harming their children?

Ask questions
Even when parents can’t be at every practice or game, they should make a point of introducing themselves to their child’s coach and learning more about them. Here are a few questions that caregivers may want to ask:

  • Why are they coaching this particular team?
  • Do they have a child on the team? If not, how did they get involved in coaching?
  • How long have they been a coach?
  • Do they coach other sports, genders or age groups?
  • Do they have any specialized training (for injury prevention, abuse prevention, youth development, teaching, etc.)?

Most coaches will welcome these questions and will be happy to share their coaching history and philosophy with you. If you sense hesitancy or you feel the coach is uncomfortable with your interest in their coaching history, you want to pay more attention.

Work with other parents
For example, you might agree to take turns with another parent being at practices or games and keeping an eye on things for each other. Or, if you aren’t able to attend many practices or games and there is another parent who is able to, talk with them and ask if they would help you out by keeping an eye on your child and sharing any concerns they may have with you. Then, let the coach know that there are other adults watching your child when you’re not there. Talk about what boundaries you want to see respected for the children on the team, and what concerns you want to know about specifically.

As children get older and they don’t want parents to be present, you can occasionally and unexpectedly show up early to observe how practice is going. Watch how the coach interacts with the youth. Talk with your child about what goes on in practice. Ask if the coach seems to have favorites and, if so, how they show they favor one child over another. Learn more about how coaches communicate with their youth athletes between games and practices.

Learn about policies and procedures
Another issue that sometimes happens in youth sports is that the organization can lack clear policies, accountability, or guidelines for addressing potential harm to children [3]. Greater levels of accountability and clear communication about organizational standards can help people more easily recognize when boundaries are being crossed or when a youth is being put in an unsafe situation with a coach (or another child), and what next step actions need to be taken.
 
Learn about the policies and procedures the sports team, league, or studio has in place to protect and respond to harm, and what training coaches receive. Also, observe classes/practices and ask other parents questions to learn more about what that organization’s culture is like. This helps caregivers discover whether prevention is supported and promoted daily, outside of just the written policies themselves.

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2. What do parents need to know prior to enrolling their child in a youth sports program?

Parents need to be knowledgeable about what policies any potential youth serving organizations they’re looking to enroll their child in already has in place. These organizations need comprehensive written, enforced guidelines instead of relying on one or two policies or things like criminal background checks, which often miss individuals who may have abused a child haven’t been legally convicted.
 
It’s important to note that most child sexual abuse cases are never reported. When child protective agencies do get involved, only 55% of the incidents are investigated [1]. Therefore cases of child sexual abuse don’t always end with a criminal conviction, so the vast majority of people who have sexually abused children may be able to pass a criminal background check.

Learning more about the prevention and response strategies of any youth serving organization is important. Here are some potential questions parents and caregivers can ask youth serving organizations when they’re seeing if the organization is a good fit for their child.

  • How are volunteers and employees screened during the hiring process?
  • Does the organization require references, and do they actually speak with references?
  • Are they knowledgeable about who sexually abuses children and do they use that information to screen out people whose behaviors are concerning?
  • Does the organization have policies about whether and in what circumstances volunteers and employees can be alone with a child or can be in contact with a child outside of the program?
  • Note: These are both risky situations so you want to know whether the organization has planned for ways to reduce this risk.
  • What training does the organization provide training for staff on preventing child sexual abuse?
  • Note: Most organizations have policies about reporting sexual abuse, but you want to know whether they provide training on how to report as well as training on how to prevent sexual abuse.
  • Do their policies address the potential for youth to sexually abuse or be sexually inappropriate with other children?
  • Do their policies minimize opportunities for children to be together unsupervised?
  • Do they provide clear guidance to youth about appropriate interactions and behaviors, and do they respond and redirect or clarify the rules if children aren’t following expected behaviors?
  • Do they have clear guidelines for staff, parents, and youth on what types of touches are okay, and how a youth can notify someone else if they’re uncomfortable with someone’s behavior?

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3. What should I look out for in coaches who work with kids?

The dynamic found in a coach-athlete relationship can create a vulnerable situation for youth because of the power dynamics, the hierarchical structures, and the trust or closeness that is expected and fostered between coaches and athletes [2]. Cultural norms about horseplay and hands-on contact can also play a role in abuse in any youth serving institution, but that doesn’t mean harm is inevitable.

Look out for warning signs
While there is no such thing as a fool-proof warning sign, there are things parents can watch out for in coaches. One concerning sign would be someone who seems to spend all of their time with children and who does not seem to have adult relationships. They might work with youth, volunteer with youth, and generally spend lots of time with children. Parents should also watch for coaches who seem to prefer certain ages or genders of children and who tend to often have a “special” relationship with one child.

Parents should gauge whether the coach seems to understand boundaries with children. Do they seem clear about appropriate boundaries with children or do they ignore or refuse to let children set their own boundaries around personal space? Does the coach follow the rules of the organization even if they don’t agree? Parents (and organizations) should be concerned if a coach is not willing to follow organization rules  or if they seem to think certain policies or boundaries are only for other people, not for them.

Why inappropriate behavior is often missed
Sometimes people think everyone who sexually abuses a child is a pedophile, meaning that they are someone who has a primary sexual attraction to prepubescent children. So if someone is married or has relationships with other adults, people may think that means they would not sexually abuse a child. Yet, some people who abuse children have adult sexual relationships. They may not be sexually interested in children, though some are. Sometimes adults who sexually abuse children do so in times of stress or when they are having difficulties.

Someone’s private behavior may be very different from their public behavior. It is also impossible to tell what someone’s intent is; we can only pay attention to and respond to behaviors we can see. At Stop It Now!, we encourage parents to get comfortable proactively setting boundaries with all adults who spend time with their children.

If a coach seems to be spending a lot of one-on-one time with our child, we need to pull them aside and say something like, “I’m not comfortable with you spending so much time with [youth athlete].” This isn’t accusatory, but it means we’re being clear on what our boundaries are and what is okay and not okay with our child.

Unfortunately, as a culture we are not very comfortable speaking up to other adults. It is much easier to talk with children. We need to recognize that we leave children vulnerable when we expect them to set boundaries and limits that we’re not comfortable with as adults. It gets easier with practice and support. And you can always reach out to our Helpline for more guidance on having a talk like this.

Learn more

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References
[1] Darkness to light. (2015). Child abuse statistics: Reporting abuse. Retrieved from https://www.d2l.org/wp-content/uploads/2017/01/Statistics_6_Reporting.pdf
[2] Gaedicke, S., Schäfer, A., Hoffmann, B., Ohlert, J., Allroggen, M., Hartmann-Tews, I., & Rulofs, B. (2021). Sexual violence and the Coach–Athlete Relationship—a scoping review from sport sociological and sport psychological perspectives. Frontiers in sports and Aactive Lliving, 3, 643707.  https://doi.org/10.3389/fspor.2021.643707
[3] Kerr, R., & Kerr, G. (2020). Promoting athlete welfare: A proposal for an international surveillance system. Sport Management Review, 23(1), 95-103.  https://doi.org/10.1016/j.smr.2019.05.005

Stop It Now! has compiled resources and is available for consultations and training with organizations who need assistance in ensuring they have comprehensive policies and practices to keep children safe. In addition, the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention has a free resource Preventing Child Sexual Abuse in Youth Serving Organizations: Getting Started on Policies and Practices.

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