Worried about your own thoughts, feelings and behaviors?
Pedophile? Sex abuser? Predator? Molester? Are these labels that you use to describe yourself? Are you worried about your sexual thoughts about a child – a minor? Are you watching child pornography?
Have you been concerned that your sexual feelings for a child may mean that you’re destined to be a monster? Or are you afraid that your life will turn out only in one of two ways – alone and isolated or in prison, ostracized by the world?
You do have choices. You’re not alone. Help and support are available.
Hi. We’re Stop It Now!, a non-profit dedicated to ending child sexual abuse. We believe that you deserve the support, compassion and help to be safe. When you’re ready to talk, we’re here. Contact our free, confidential Helpline now via email, chat or phone to talk to a trained counselor who can help.
CONTACT THE HELPLINE
We meet you where you are.
Perhaps you're just beginning to look for information and support. Maybe you’ve begun to cross boundaries. Or you may have harmed a child through your behaviors. Regardless of where you’ve been, you can take the steps you need to be responsible and safe – and you deserve help and support.
You don’t have to be alone. You deserve informed support. Please reach out if you’re worried about:
- any sexual thoughts you’re having
- whether you can control your thoughts
- how to get help for behaviors that are already harmful
- staying safe around children, youth and teens
- how to get help without getting into legal trouble for your thoughts
Please know that you deserve support as you promote a safe and happy life for yourself.
You can live safely. You deserve respect and support.
We believe that every adult can live safely and deserves respect, compassion and support. By getting to this webpage, you are courageous for taking vital steps to be responsible and safe. We honor your commitment to not abusing.
You don’t have to live in isolation or be afraid that you are destined to a life of pain and misunderstanding. You do need to be responsible and accountable though, if your behaviors are putting any child or minor at risk for harm of any kind.
You don’t have to do this alone. Our Helpline is free and confidential. We have been helping people stay safe since 1995. We can help you.
CONTACT THE HELPLINE
Additional Resources
- How to ask for help when you are troubled by your thoughts about children
- Fifteen questions to ask yourself about your thoughts and behaviors
- FAQs for Adults with Questions About Themselves
- FAQs on Treatment for Adults Who Have Sexually Abused a Child
- Why would an adult sexually abuse a child?
- Is viewing child pornography (online child sexual abuse material) child sexual abuse?
Read more on our Online Help Center.
Questions We Hear
“Am I a pedophile?”
People reach out to us and tell us that they are afraid they are a pedophile. There are many reasons why someone might think about children sexually, at any given time.
Pedophilia is a diagnosis, and only a licensed clinician or doctor can make an assessment of attitudes and behaviors that could mean that someone meets the diagnostic criteria for pedophilia. Maybe you will meet those criteria – or maybe there are other things to consider.
Still, just because someone meets the criteria for a pedophilia diagnosis does not mean that they are someone who sexually abuses children. Likewise, not all people who sexually abuse children are diagnosed with pedophilia. There are many other reasons why someone sexually abuses a child.
There is no single type of person who struggles with uncomfortable or unwanted sexual attractions for minors. There is no single type of person who crosses the line, does not manage their behaviors and sexually abuses a child. This includes: men and women, youth and adults, professionals and parents, people of all races, cultures, backgrounds and communities. All people struggle with making healthy, safe and legal choices around their behaviors.
Anyone who has worries and questions about their sexual thoughts and behaviors deserves to get help and support with those questions. And everyone has a responsibility to do all that they can to maintain safe boundaries and behaviors. Take a look at these Fifteen Questions to Ask Yourself. These are not to provide a diagnosis but rather can help with a self-assessment of your behaviors and feelings.
“What can I do?”
Continue to ask questions and seek help! Our free, confidential Helpline is here for you. We can help you begin a safety plan while identifying the types of support available. Get more tips on how to ask for help when you are troubled by your thoughts about children.
We cannot emphasize enough about the benefits of working with a professional, someone who specializes in working with people with concerns about their sexual behaviors and feelings. A counselor can help you address the concerns you have, while also helping you build your support network. One of the kindest things you can do for yourself is to reduce your isolation. A counselor can help you do that, and also support you to identify and take next steps to address any safety risks.
Learn more! It’s important to have accurate information. Visit our FAQs for Adults with Questions About Themselves and FAQs on Treatment for Adults Who Have Sexually Abused a Child.
About Stop It Now!
Helping people who are worried about their own thoughts and behaviors stay safe, and get support and help is a huge part of our mission to prevent child sexual abuse. From our beginning, we have asked and listened to people about what they need to stay safe, and what would help them with how they’re feeling or acting. We know that it’s scary to ask for help; it takes courage.
Adults can be responsible and accountable. In order to prevent child sexual abuse, all adults must be part of the prevention plan – and this includes you and any person who may need help and support to address those thoughts, feelings and behaviors that might be warning signs of risk and abuse.